And away we go...

Happy Pitchers and Catchers Day. It's all happening.

Some Mariners headlines:

Mariners expect to contend

OK, I can give that some credence — there's a whole lot of maybe on this roster. Long-odds maybe, but still. And the AL West isn't what it once was, so “contend” isn't as high a hurdle to clear. If not for the month of August last year, they might have had a shot at second place. So I'll bite. Go Mariners. Go contend.

But this one?

Hargrove excited, optimistic for 2007

I just can't picture this one. Hargrove? Excited? Enthusiastic?

Sorry, not buying it. When I think of Hargrove, I think of Paul Sorvino's mute, docile manager in Mr. 3000, just sitting there with that sadly tranquil look of acceptance on his face. I think of his excruciatingly bland press conferences, of long stretches of dead air broken by monosyllabic responses. Maybe it's all relative — maybe an “enthusiastic” Hargrove is discernibly different from a Hargrove-at-rest.

Maybe it's a subtle and nuanced variation, like the difference between Ferris Bueller's economics teacher and his English teacher:



I'll have to catch a few extra Cubs games this year, just to keep my Lou Piniella counteragent levels in balance.