Are? You? Kidding?!

It cannot be. Either I'm stuck in a permanent hallucinatory state and all of this is nothing but a complex, layered delusion, or it's the apocalypse.

Consider the actress's qualifications:

The director told the Indo-Asian News Service he was first impressed by Hilton when he read an article in which she said she'd refused to pose nude for Playboy.

Just like Mother Theresa!