Ding a ding dang my dang a long ling long

OK, today it's gonna be “Fun with Ads by Goooooogle.” Here's why: Lately I've been revisiting a lot of the music Poupolis and I used to play on our college radio show — stuff like Primus, The Cramps, King Missile, Dead Milkmen, Ministry...

Which set me a-Googlin’, starting with the opening lyrics to Ministry's tour de force, “Jesus Built My Hot Rod” (from whence cometh the title of this post).

What caught my eye when I found these lyrics were the Google Ads that came with them. On your average Web page, keyword-targeted ads usually work pretty well. But song lyrics must confound the Google scoopers, and they throw out some pretty hilarious results. For instance:

Artist: Ministry
Song: “Jesus Built My Hot Rod”
Lyrics:
Soon I discovered that this rock thing was true
Jerry Lee Lewis was the devil
Jesus was an architect previous to his career as a prophet
All of a sudden, I found myself in love with the world
So there was only one thing that I could do
Was ding a ding dang my dang a long ling long
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Artist: Primus
Song: “The Air is Getting Slippery”
Lyrics:
It’s incredibly hot in here today, incredibly hot in here
It’s incredibly hot in here today, incredibly hot in here
The air is getting slippery and it’s not to my surprise
My heart it beats irregularly, the sweat it fills my eyes
I do not mind what I excrete ’cos I’m here to make a buck
And those that cannot take the heat can take a flying...
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Artist: The Cult
Song: “Peace Dog”
Lyrics:
Poor man, sad man, you should be a glad man
Stand up for your rights, peace, talkin’ about peace
Good dog, bad dog, roll over and play dead
Do it again, baby, peace, peace dog, yeah
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Artist: Tom Waits
Song: “Jockey Full of Bourbon”
Lyrics:
Schiffer broke a bottle on Morgan’s head
And I’m stepping on the devil’s tail
Across the stripes of a full moon’s head
And through the bars of a Cuban jail
Bloody fingers on a purple knife
Flamingo drinking from a cocktail glass
I’m on the lawn with someone else’s wife
Admire the view from up on top of the mast
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Satan the Devil
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And my favorite:

Artist: Gordon Lightfoot
Song: “The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald”
Lyrics:
Does any one know where the love of God goes
When the waves turn the minutes to hours?
The searches all say they’d have made Whitefish Bay
If they’d put fifteen more miles behind her.
They might have split up or they might have capsized;
May have broke deep and took water.
And all that remains is the faces and the names
Of the wives and the sons and the daughters.
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(Thanks to LyricsFreak.com.)