March Madness: Not my ball of cheese

For me, March is all about Spring Training, although I do admit to showing a little more interest in the college hoops tourney lately, as both of my wife's schools (B.C. and Indiana) are perennial participants. Plus, I love brackets — doesn't really matter what you fill them in with. I'd enjoy following a 64-team Rock-Paper-Scissors bracket.

This year, I see Oral Roberts University made the cut. Well, glory hullabaloojah! I'll be pulling for those guys, if only because I once visited the Oral Roberts campus as a stopoff on a Route 66 tour, marveled at the Jetsons-inspired architecture, had my photo taken with the giant praying hands, and bought my friend Clark a Moses action figure in the gift shop, complete with sea-parting action staff and commandment-hurling grip (this was 10 years ago, long before such things were de rigueur at Archie McPhee). I can honestly say it was the best thing I saw in all of Oklahoma. So hey, I've got a fiver that says Oral goes all the way. Any takers?

On the subject of “March Madness” — what then, may I ask, to make of the rest of the year? Here, in decidedly McSweeney's-esque* fashion, is how I see post-March Madness shaping up:

April Aberration

May Malaise

June Jauntiness

July Jollity

August Asininity

September Spasms

October Outrage

November Neuroses

December Desolation

January Jadedness

February Funk

* Indeed, a quick search of McSweeney's yielded this. When you're out of hash, it's time to rehash, I guess.